Luckiest unlucky woman ever!!!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
200 Trillion Text Messages Sent Daily In The USA!!!
I got carpal tunnel just reading that stat... <<< Click on the link...the graph is easier to read...
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Does this look like the face of a pig raper...
Ok, ya gotta ask…did these show hogs ask for this? I mean we’ve all been to the stock show before. We’ve seen how these pigs strut around all groomed, wearing bows , flashing those tightly wound tails, right? Well, I think not this time. We’re talking about 4 hogs with vaginal infections. If it were just one, then maybe. But to believe that all four of these pigs were sluts? Not likely. Chicks talk. Word gets out in these pig pens. This jackass was straight up raping these hogs! And now the Greenwood P.D. is in control of some piggy porn. Chief Purnell…please destroy these before they hit YouTube…
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Pre K student brings loaded .22 to school...
Lunch box check list: PB & J (check), Nacho Cheese flavored Doritos (check), Twinkie (check), Glock .22, fully loaded magazine with one in the chamber (check)
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Man Gets Arrested For Stealing A Car. His Own Car...Wait! What!?
This guy gets arrested, handcuffed in front of his kids for stealing his own car...
What Each State Is The Worst At...
Here’s a map of the U.S. that shows what each state is worst at – The United States of Shame…
Monday, January 24, 2011
2nd Grade Teacher Put On Leave After Kid Gets A Blow Job In His Classroom...Wait, What!?!
OAKLAND – A second-grade teacher has been placed on administrative leave amid an investigation into a report that two of his students engaged in oral sex during class and that, on a separate occasion, some children took off some of their clothing and were clowning around. The incidents happened last week at Markham Elementary School, but they only came to the principal’s attention Wednesday, after one of the students told a staff member what had happened, Oakland school district spokesman Troy Flint said. The teacher was present at the time, but says he was unaware of any such incident, Flint said. “We are striving to create schools as safe havens where students can feel secure and trust in adult guidance,” he added. “Obviously, that trust was violated in this incident, which was unacceptable. We’re going to get to the bottom of this and make sure there’s no recurrence. ”
What the hell is going on at Markham Elementary School? In 2nd grade I was upgrading to glue from paste. Thought I was the shit! Other kids with their little paste sticks and me squeezing the Elmers out like a champ. Didn't even know how to get a hard on, much less that it could be placed in a chicks mouth! I guess the training manual for 2nd grade teachers in Oakland is about to be updated: After recess keep the little skanks away from the young studs. You know they're just impressing the shit out of them on the monkey bars...
JesusHatesObama ad rejected for the Super Bowl
I think the JesusHatesObama.com commercial that was rejected by Fox for the Super Bowl was submitted knowing it would be rejected and thereby getting it publicity. Like I guess I just did.
BrideFry's Valentines Day Gift...
Well it looks like I’m all set with my Valentine’s Day shopping this year. One set of custom made Four Loko earrings coming up. I don’t even care that only college girls would want these and I’m sure BrideFry will hate them. It’s not always all about her. Like I want people see these earrings and be like who bought you those? I did. That’s who!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
IRON CLAD LOCK...
Ok, so last week, quietly and without accolades I gave you Chicago minus 10. I hope you are spending your winnings wisely. For this week's iron clad lock, I'm sad to say I'm going to have to take Pittsburgh -3 1/2. Both the Jets and the Steelers have built their defenses on stopping the run. Which will put this game in the hands of the better passing QB. Sanchez has trouble with the long ball, so I'm going with Rapelisberger this week...
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Governor Perry...
So why is Texas the greatest state in the nation you may ask? Because as soon as our governor gets sworn in, what does he do? He goes to Las Vegas to hang out with Ted "The Nuge" Nugent and hot chicks!!! Hellz Yeah!!! Rock on Rick...I might just go buy your book now...
Edit: Ok, one hot chick and one chick that I'm sure has a great personality...
The Face Of Idiocracy...
Fox – A restaurant cook in southern New Jersey was sentenced to 15 days in jail and two years of probation for sprinkling a police officer’s breakfast sandwich with pubic and chest hairs, the Courier-Post reported Thursday. Ryan Burke, 27, was working as a line cook at Good Foods to Go in Marlton last February when the Evesham Police Department officer, who had once stopped the cook for a traffic violation, placed his breakfast order. The officer consumed part of the turkey, egg and cheese bagel sandwich before realizing it was laced with body hair. Police then confiscated the sandwich and sent it to the state police lab for analysis.The DNA in the hairs was determined to be a match for a swab taken from Burke, who was fired from the restaurant and arrested. Police said Burke confessed to the crime, which he said he committed because of ill will toward the officer, the Courier-Post reported.
Amateur hour or sneaky smart? The school of common sense says spit in the sandwich, right? Or even hock a loogie. I mean it had cheese on it. As long as it wasn’t one of those green loogies it should be properly camouflaged. But not Ryan Burke! Not only does he lace it with pubes, he throw in some chest hairs for good measure, breaking the “one accidental pube in the turkey, egg and cheese bagel sandwich” law. Which can be beat in any court of law with the ol’ “was busy and didn’t have time to wash after peeing defense”. Amatuer? I think not. The dude wanted to get caught. The booking photo smirk tells the truth. The whole truth. And nothin’ but the truth…
Friday, January 21, 2011
Ben Rapelisberger...
Beware New York, Big Ben Raplisberger is coming to town. Hide yo wives...Hide yo daughters...
Homeless guy wins ESPN Fantasy Football League...
Really!?! It was some unemployed homeless dude that beat me!?! And he’s got a fiancée!?! Gotta be the greatest chick on the planet! Go to work all day. Come home and get into your “comfy” clothes. Go get your boyfriend out of the dumpster behind Blueberry Hill Nursing Home. Drop him off at strangers’ houses so he could go steal Brandon Jackson from me off of the waiver wire after Ryan Grant got injured! Just ain’t right. This friggin’ sux! Oh yeah, ESPN…only $3500! Way to screw over a homeless dude! Oh yeah, homeless dude’s mom…way to screw over your homeless son…
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