Lookalikes...

Does this look like the face of a guy who was pulled over for DUI, then took a dump at the police station, filled his mouth up with the shit and spit it at the cops?

One nasty dude...

Hottie Body Hump Club

Good stuff Jimmy Kimmel...LiLo's final thought..."alledgedly" is good stuff

drunken comedy gold...

I'm gonna get ra...ra...racial here...comedy gold right here my friends

Thanks but no thanks...

Thanks for putting yourself in the line of fire.  Shooting the crazed guman that's killing people here in our church.  Saving many lives while doing so.  But since you got a bad case of the "ghey" please get the hell out of our church.  You're not welcome here...

Man arrested for making over 18,000 prank 911 calls...

This 43 year old guy gets arrested for making 18,000 prank 911 calls in six months.  I know what your thinking..."what a jackass!" right?  Well I'm thinking about dedication, motivation and will to prevail.  How many of y'all find a hobby and do it on average about 99 times per day?  This guy's probably going to be the best telemarketer on the planet, just selling the shit out of everything in sight.  Can't keep him off the phone...

Cool space shuttle pic...

Pretty cool picture of the space shuttle Discovery 175 miles above the earth with a shadow of the ISS across it...

Thank you...

Just a little thank you to all of you who have been visiting my page.  I have well over a thousand views already and this blog is still in its infancy...You're all awesome...

FVA- Army Salute Fail

I'm thinking comrade Shitpantski here may have just shat himself...

Vampire Takes On Bank - and Wins

So a vampire forecloses on WELLS FARGO!!! And WINS!!! But I'm puzzled by this reporter. I don't think he knows he's talking to a VAMPIRE!!! Hello...you're interviewing a guy with FANGS!!! Smart move interviewing him via sattelite though. Wouldn't want his bloodthirsty ass anywhere near me just drooling over my O positive life juice. I'm guessing the judge in his case was probably too scared to rule in Wells Fargo's favor...

Muammar Gaddafi...

Gaddafi...Khadafi...Quadafi...however the hell to spell it...he's one bat shit crazy mother flower but the dudes got style and an Amazonian body guard detail.  I'm guessing those chicks are going to be unemployed pretty quick...

City of Intercourse, Pa. to change its name...

Amish community of Intercourse, Pa. to change its name.  May I suggest to Boinkville, Ball City or Bangtown...

Sucks to be a marlin...

Marlin becomes shark food while being set free...

Miss San Antonio dethroned for eating too many tacos...

And the pussification of America continues...now we are stripping the titles from beauty queens for munching box!  And the court system is backing that play?!?  Oh maybe they really meant eating tacos...

Breast milk ice cream??? Those crazy Brits...

So the next time you find yourself at the Icecreamists restaurant in London's Covent Garden try some ice cream made from breast milk and let me know how that works for ya!  I know at first you were thinking its gross but then you look at the lovely Jen I have posted here and now your thinking Damn! the Omnificent Grandpoohbah might just be on to something here!  That's why I'm playing chess while the rest of the world is playing checkers...

Bullets...

Team has a 310 conference game losing streak dating back to 1985 until last night.

After reading this, I wouldn't recommend ordering large fries

One very small aquarium!.

Oklahoma leads the nation in women in prison.

Oklahoma mother goes to prison for 10 years after being convicted of selling $31 worth of marijuana.  It was her first offense!  I guess this proves the previous bullet!

Florida mom puts son on street corner advertising that he's a big dummy.

Too bad Christmas is over.  I just found the perfect stocking stuffer for all m'ladies...period panties

I'm crumbing!!!

I'm great in bed...

Aww Mom...

Great site for weather geeks...

Great site for weather geeks...

Sex Tape...

Scientists claim oral sex causes cancer in white men. Wait! What?

What the?  I got questions!  Are white men the only ones doing this? If not, are we doing it wrong?  Is there some technique we need to be taught?  Someone's always trying to keep whitey down...

Dude names his daughter Facebook...

Sucks to be a chick with a dudes name.  He had to name her Facebook!  Really!?!  Couldn't he have gone with a chicks name like Twitter?

Lets take a poll...

Should employers be able to require you to surrender your Facebook password as did the Department of Corrections in Maryland to this fella...Go ahead and vote yes or no in the comment section...

For Big Bang Sheldon Cooper fans...

Does this look like the face of a 70 year masseuse who was busted for giving "happy endings"?

70 year giving "handys" at the spa...

Cock 1 - Human 0

Now I'm not in the habit of making fun at death!  I just don't need that kind of bad karma.  But sometimes y'all need to me report the truth.  The truth is yard birds were made to eat not fight, so I'm not really feeling too bad about this dude that was killed at a cockfight by this barn yard pimp...

Can you say "dumbass"?

So instead of tie down straps, rope or bungee cords, this brain surgeon decides to lay down on top of the mattress and hold it down on top of the moving vehicle!!!  BRILLIANT!!!

Friggin Ruskies Get It!

Man, those russians know how to do things! You got their leader, Putin just plain crushin' hot russian pussy everywhere he goes and now we find out they are teaching their kids how to fly! Watch out America, the Cold War may have ended up in our favor, but the ruskies still know how to dominate...

Guess The Crime Mugshot!!!!

Lets try a new game!  Guess the Crime Mugshot!!!  Did she...
A) Jump out of her moving vehicle leaving her friends in the car to wreck into a snowbank while trying to elude the police from being chased for a DWI?
or
B) Prostitute being charged for theft of services and possession of narcotics after she left before their "contract" was fulfilled and stole her johns bag o' pot.

Which one ya got?

Odd MMA injury: Melted foot...Yikes!!!

So, I'm pretty sure you're all wondering why a guy like me never stepped into The Octagon.  Well the old number one reason was that I'm a pussy who has no desire to have my jaw wired shut, broken bones nor do I like to cry in public which I'm sure would happen every time!  But now what the hell is this melted foot shit!?!  Um, no thank you...

Truck Jump Fail

Be advised...no hills of dirt were actually harmed during the filming of this video...

This Party Took a Turn for the Douche (Official Video) by Garfunkel and ...

This party just took a turn for the douche. Thought it was the perfect party, now its just a lot of Ed Hardy...

How to win at thumb-war...

Craigslist for those of you that speak/read with a lisp...

craigs-lisp

Ass Cam

Ever wonder how many people are checking out your ass as you walk down the street?  I know I "feel" it happening all the time.  Well these California smokeshows got it all figured out...

That's how I roll...

For all you knuckledraggers that watch "The League" I give you Taco's first single...

You know you're having a bad day when...

You know you're having a bad day when you die at work in you're cubicle and nobody notices until the next day...

Does this look the face of a guy who was passed out drunk behind the wheel, wearing nothing but socks and boxers, with his junk hanging out and was aquitted of DWI?

Does this look the face of a guy who was passed out drunk with a .42 blood alcohol level which is five times the legal limit, behind the wheel, wearing nothing but socks and boxers, with his junk hanging out and was aquitted of DWI?  Dude also has previous DWI convictions!  Way to get it right justice system!!!

Blind folk can have a concealed weapon license in Kansas..wait!..what?

Do not piss off blind people in Kansas...

Shuttlecock...

Big hand...

ButterArm...

She should've went to Jared...

Chick steals wedding ring from K-Mart.  Wait! What?  They sell wedding rings at K-Mart?

When is wearing a belt made out of a seat belt legal as a way to avoid wearing an actual seat belt?

Apparently never.  At least in the state of Kansas.  Interesting concept though...

Baddest Ninja on the Planet!!!

No way this guy wasn't valedictorian at Ninja U! Just slicin' soda bottles shootin' arrows and ninjaing out like a motherfucker...

Annual Valentine's Day Stoning Of Happy Couple Held

United States of Beer...

Probably needs to be updated.  I'm sure Nevada is pretty disappointed since Four Loco had to take the caffeine out...

Chicken Scratch...

Jack in the Box...

Katy Perry Rolling Stone Cover Shoot Before and After...

Katy Perry Rolling Stone Cover Before and After...
They even changed her fingers...

My face hurts but I don't know why...

“My Face Hurts But I Don’t Know Why?”
- Maple Leaf Darryl Boyce tweets after smashing his face into a camera opening in the glass a few games ago



Hockey players = toughest athletes on the planet! So this guys nose practically falls off a few games ago and he doesn't even miss a game!

Complaint Dept...

Pool anyone?

Wolverine?...

Craigslist Ad Of The Week???

So, if you're a married, father who is a state representative and your trolling for chicks on Facebook, you may want to refrain from posting your picture...

Facebook aftermath...

its a bird...its a plane...

Nice "Scooby snack"...

A tourists guide to where Dallas Cowboys comitted there "Dirty Deeds"...

Where did Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson take a 17 year old paraplegic and her 15 year old friend hostage at gunpoint and sexually assault them while hopped on crack?  Well just take the tour and find out...

Felonious farting? Wait, what!?!...Not really it's just a misdemeanor...

The African nation of Malawi bans farting!!!  I may need to invest in Beano futures!!!

IRON CLAD LOCK...Super Bowl Edition...

So here it is, my Iron Clad Lock.  I'm batting a .1000 so far so read and heed...I'm going with the "over" on the 45 point over/under.  You're welcome...

...

I won't be posting for a couple of days.  Be back soon...

Puppy vs Snow...

Charles Manson caught with a "smuggled in" cell phone...again...

Charles Manson gets caught with a cell phone in his prison cell again...

Finally!! Proof that wrestling is REAL!!!

Have a Coke and a....smile?

Multi-purpose Muzzle...

Owned...

Post its...

Trapped...