Study: One in three chicks get depressed after sex...

And all these years I thought those were tears of joy!  Now I find out I was just sending chicks into fucking depression (pun not intended but totally intended).  I always felt that rolling over and going to sleep while they were crying may have been the wrong thing to do, but now I know it was right.  Really, who wants to hear post sex whining?  C'mon girls, be post sex professionals for once...

Beaking News!!! Bronx Zoo Cobra Captured...

The cobra that has been on the loose after escaping 6 days ago has been caught and put in quarantine.  His last Twitter update had him headed to a Yankees game.  Just goes to show, you put your status on all these social networks, you lose all your privacy.  If you're a dangerous viper that escaped from a zoo, you might just want to hide out for a week or two.  Stay off the internet until things die down a bit.  Then, just go bite the shit out whoever you want.  Just sayin'...

Holy Shit!!! (pun not intended...but totally intended...)

Holy shit....

twin baby boys have a conversation - part 2 ORIGINAL VIDEO

Your daily cuteness... (Credit Doug)

West Virginia Ninja

Beware the Judy Chop... (Credit David)

Ba ha ha...damn funny...

GET ME THIS OREO STUFFED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE!!!

Recipe here...

Dumbass...

What do you do when your kid swallows ants?  Well give them Ant Killer of course...

Does this look like the face of a snake who escaped from his zoo prison cell and is waiting to bite some damn yankee?

Ok, I know this story is a couple of days old but I've been out of town and haven't a chance to blog until today.  So here goes...Damn, I'm glad in in West Texas instead of the Bronx Zoo.  You've got one of the worlds deadliest vipers just hanging out waiting to get hungry.  I wouldn't want to be the idiot zoo yankee that happens to stroll by when this evil dude decides to strike.  You know kids have tapping on that snake window, just pissing him off for years.  He's just been holding all of the anger in.  Not able or just not wanting to let it go.  Just knowing that one day he would escape and plan his vengeance.  Yep, think I'll just stay here for awhile...

Edit: Someone created a twitter page posing as the Cobra.  Pretty funny.  @BronxZoosCobra

Future Ivy Leaguer pistol whips mother into buying her a car...

Pistol whipped mom into getting her a car!?!  Whatever happened to the good old days when you caned your mom into buying you shit?  Or does that only happen in Singapore?  Anywho, this saucy little thug vixen will probably end up defending half of you in court or treating you in an emergency room somewhere.  Why?  Because she will become a doctor or lawyer after she pistol whips her mom into paying for her ivy league education too...

GET IT OFF ME!!!

Holy shit!!! Get it off me!! agghhh!!!  WTF!?!  Damn Chinese people...got the biggest population, always got the tallest man in the world, always got the smallest man in the world, now they got the mask facest boy in the world.  When will they stop?  Just dominating the shit out everybody!  China...playing chess while the rest of the world is playing checkers...

"Friday" by Rebecca Black, as interpreted by a bad lip reader

Of all the spin offs on this video out there, this is by far the funniest. Gang Fight by bad lip reader...

New Jersey chick asks for a special massage then presses charges...

New Jersey lady - "Please massage my butt and boobs."  "That was great.  Thank you."  "Oh, by the way, I'm pressing sexual assault charges on you for doing what I asked."

Barefoot Contessa tells 6 year old cancer patient to fuck off...

So, a six year cancer patient asks the Barefoot Contessa to come cook a meal with him and she tells him basically...it sucks to be you, keep eating your hospital jello cancer boy.  Really !?!  You heartless biatch!!!  Who does that?  Well Enzo you should probably stick to the hot Food Network hosts anyway like Rachel Ray or Giada De Laurentiis (hubba hubba) ...Link

Gallon to Gallon comparison...

Gallon to gallon comparison...

Why you shouldn't mess with snakes...

You fuck with the bull, you the horn...you fuck with the anaconda, you get your hand bit off during the anaconda death roll...

So, a guy walks into a bar...new twist on an old joke...

GET ME THIS PETITE GIRAFFE!!!

Check out the WEBSITE...

Gotta be an awesome burger joint!!!

Gas up the truck BrideFry...we're going to Waco for supper tonight...

Pawn Star "Big Hoss" arrested...

One the "Pawn Stars" was recently busted.  I wonder how much he haggled the bail down to...Link

The Boy Who Went To Heaven

Anyone else calling "bullshit" here besides me? Props to the kid though! Found him a get rich scheme and its working like a champ. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure Heaven has got some maximum security fences and gates better than any prison I ever worked in. And I've been behind many of those walls. You don't just go for a quick visit with your great grandfather and head back home. Pretty sure it don't happen that way. But he sucked in mommy and daddy with the whole sitting on the lap of Christ bit. When you can fool mom and dad you take a shot and write a book. That's get-rich-quick 101...

Does this look like the face of a 92 year old woman who did a "walk-by" shooting at a guys house for not giving her a kiss???

Let this be a lesson to ya kids...do not under estimate the libido-to-crazy factor in old chicks.  One sits by you on the bus...keep your eyes down.  Do not make direct eye contact at all costs! (Unless you're into bagging old bags).  One slides up next to you at Starbucks while you're flirting with the barista...eyes forward!!!  Don't even go visit granny and gramps at the retirement home.  Have them meet you, no matter how far they have to travel.  But if you screw up and make eye contact and she asks you for a kiss, you better slide her some tongue and pretend you like it.  If not, you may just end up with a cap busted in your ass... 

Time killer...

Famous objects from classic movies...be advised some of these flicks are pretty current.

He finally did it...

In case you haven't heard, that Florida pastor finally burned a Koran...

Those crazy Ohioans...

So, what do you think this guy has been arrested for spanning back to 1978?
Voyeurism?
Public indecency?
Criminal mischief ?
Rape?
Drinking other men's urine that he collected out of public urinals?
or all of the above?
click on the link for your pretty obvious answer...

 

Get me these stampeding baby pygmy goats!!!

Lunchables...

Gas vs. Bank account...

Friggin' Aussies get it..nice ad...

How about them friggin Aussies. They understand marketing. If I didn't have such a busy schedule this week lined up, I'm buying some real estate at 15 Queen Anne Court!

My wife's ex-boyfriend...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes" she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend..... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
 "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

One seriously messed up childrens book!!!

I know what book I'm buying the grandkids next Christmas!!!

Stunning before and after pics of the tsunami...

Check out this link for some stunning before and after pics of the tsunami (hover over images to change between before and after).

So, ladies...if you have kissed 22 guys, had 6 one night stands and had your heart broken 5 times, give me a call. I just may be Mr. Right (I'm sure BrideFry won't mind)...

By comparison, men on average kiss 23 girls, have 10 one-night stands and have their hearts broken six times before finding their true love....Conclusion: guys have got to stop trying so hard these days.  Just sneaky find out how many dudes she's had one night stands with.  If its less than 6, do your hit-and-run.  After reading these stats, she'll know that was expected, right?  All is forgiven.  She'll be thinking, almost to number 6!  I can't wait for number 7!!!!!  Mr. Right!!!...Link

Mom lets her toddlers get shitfaced on Four Loko...Gets arrested...

So those of y'all that read this blog on a semi-regular basis know that I would normally blame the kids here.  This innocent lady simply fell asleep and her little crumb snatchers stole her drank, slammed it, couldn't handle it, stumbling all over the place like amatuers, yada yada yada.  But no, not this time folks.  What the Hell is she doing drinking Four Loko!?!  That shit is so two months ago!  Now the governments making them take the energy drink out of it.  Aint worth it.  It always tasted like shit but it had BAM!!!  Now, it just plain sux.  Arrest her ass...she needs to learn a lesson...

Edit...I forgot to post the link

Happy St. Paddy's Day from me and Karissa Shannon...

Real Time Disaster Monitoring Map

Not only do they track disasters on earth, but they also track objects that may be on their way to earth.  Link

Pastor tells congregation to F thy neighbor...

Bank robbery in Texas...

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?”
There were a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak.
Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand, and while keeping his head down said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you......."

Bully beat down...

Now you all know that I'm not the type of fella that condones violence, but when I see a bully getting trashed like this I smile a little on the inside.  These little pukes thought they had a easy victim...not so much...

AFLAC fires comdien spokesduck Gilbert Gottfried over tsunami jokes...

Aflac fired Gilbert Gottfried over tweeting some jokes.  Really AFLAC!?!  You didn't see that coming with Gilbert Gottfried!  Gilbert Gottfried, who makes his living with off color, wise ass, crass jokes!  He tweeted a couple of jokes.  This is an example...

“I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said ‘is there a school in this area.’ She said ‘not now, but just wait.”

Remember this from a couple weeks ago? Update: the snake died!!!

So a couple weeks ago I posted this video for your viewing pleasure. Well guess what...This chick gets the last laugh. The titty bitin' snake died of silicone poisoning. You can't make this shit up!!!

Asians in the Library: UCLA Rant

Some UCLA chick that will probably be getting kicked out of school soon. Better watch this one quick, odds are she'll be taking this down soon!!!

Amazing footage: Tsunami wave spills over seawall, smashes...

This is some awesome footage of a horrible event but its my duty to bring you these things...

Even...

American Idol Psycho...

Barran Prakash!?!  Really!?! You're gonna cut your buddy's throat because he won't change the channel to American Idol?  That show sucks since Simon left!  Hell they haven't had any real talent on there in a couple years.  Don't think I could name three winners from that show.  Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood....yeah thats all I got.  They are all so forgettable.  At least find a better show to cut your buddy's throat over.  Maybe you can watch Dancing With The Stars from Cellblock B...

In the immortal words of Buckcherry..."Crazy Bitch"

As the Buckcherry song goes ♫♪crazy bitch♫♪...  Can you believe this chick? Driving 35 miles per hour in a 35 mile per hour zone?!?  She deserved a little tasing.  Carissa could tase the hell out of people for doing that and 10 times 10, if I'm on her jury, she's walking!!!  Now I'm not exactly a speeder but I appreciate the five to eight mile an hour cusion that the cops give us.  This is the 21st century.  People gotta get where people are going.  And merely going the posted speed limit aint gonna get you there quick enough.

p.s. OK Corrine was pregnant, but I'm still siding with the 90 perccentile here...

awsome pic of the sun...

Awesome pic of the sun...

New funeral option...

Don't like the idea of being buried?  Cremation not really an option?  How about being frozen in liquid nitrogen and being shattered???  Terminator style...hellz yeah!!!

jennifer aniston: still the hottest chick on the planet

Jen tries to go viral. Jen Baby you can give me any virus any day...no, really...BrideFry is good with it.

He Got Weed! He Got Weed!

Here's a blast from the past...the 1978 Texxas Jam. People just firing up doobies left and right. 110 degree heat in the middle of the Cotton Bowl. People passing out from heat exhaustion all over the place. Aerosmith, Van Halen, Ted Nugent, Journey and Heart rockin on stage.

Winless high school baseball team crushes opponent 54-0...Yikes

Thank goodness for the "mercy rule" or Lake Highlands would probably still be scoring on Dallas Samuell.  They haven't had a "W" yet this season but made up for it with a 54-0 thrashing in their district opener...and the game was shortened to 5 innings...

Oh The Humanity!!!

Trannies just beating the shit out of trannies! Someone please make it stop! Celine, Cher, someone please!!! Tranny on tranny violence has got to stop and has got to stop today!!!

Barbie's Birthday...well I missed it yesterday but this is still a great post...

Barbies Behaving Badly...11 photos worth checking out...

Rock-Paper-Scissors

Rock-Paper-Scissors you vs. the computer

17 year old dies of Shaken Baby Syndrome...

17 year old dies of Shaken Baby Syndrome...Wait!...What?  No, really...

Does this look like the face of a woman stole a guy's foot?

Man gets in car accident.  Paramedic steals severed foot for a dog toy.  Aw hellz, he has another one right?  What does he need two feet for?    Seriously though, 2nd degree petty theft?  6 months probation?  This guy has to go the rest of his life with one foot!  Sucks to be you Karl Lambert...

Pre-Paid is easier...

unscramble...

I'm saddened...

So in this day and age when teachers are being laid off, this brave young sole is driven out of the classroom for simply being a movie star!  Unbelievable!  Sure she was starring in skin flicks but kids aren't allowed to watch those, right?  So how could that possibly be a distraction?  In fact, I'm thinking there were probably alot more fathers getting involved in parent-teacher conferences.  Win-win if you ask me.  It's a sad day indeed...

Awesome pic of a bat flying into the stands at a pre-season game last week...

Dude catches flying bat at baseball game...doesn't spill a drop of beer...

Does this look like the face of the world's youngest grandmother (23!!!!!!)

Does this look like the face of a 23 year old granny?   Damn they start young in Romania!

Awesome!!!

Terminally ill 9 year old gets his wish granted...becomes a soldier in the Army...

Buzzerbeater???

I don't know about y'all but I'm calling BULLSHIT on this! Thats what we call traveling down here in Texas! Come'on kid, stop jumping around like you made a legal shot and be a professional for once...

Why NOT to have smoking bans in bars...

I'm thinking if this is the kind of thing that happens because of smoking bans...you should be able to smoke 'em if you got 'em...

Old west pics...pretty cool

Awesome collection of pics of 1880's frontier life...

My kind of therapist...

Finally, a therapist I may go "see"...

Testing New Personal Jetpack on Skis - Troy Hartman

Les and Lo...y'all need one of these for Spring Break...

Best. Job. Ever.

I wonder if they're accepting applications...

How To Hat...

"Winning"...

Karaoke for the deaf...

Al Madrigal - Thai Massage

So, how many of you have ever used the term "banana cry" before?

Left face yellow...

Survival Tracking Guide...

BYU suspends star basketball player for premarital sex for the rest of the season...

Star hoopster gets suspended for the season for having premarital sex?  Don't they know that any good mormon man just enjoys sex with his wives???

Charlie Sheen's/Darth Vader - Mashup

Tiettyyy!!!

OOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!

Sex Sells!!! Girl sells ex-boyfriends clothes on eBay, scantily clad modeling the them

Naked chick models ex's clothes to sell them on eBay...

Craigslist Ad Of The Week...

I may need to go to Hoboken and check this party out...

175th Anniversary of the Birth of the Republic of Texas...

Quick questions:
1. How long was Texas a nation?
2. How many different presidents did it have?
3. Where was its final capitol location?
4. What university received its charter during the nation's brief life?
5. A 175th anniversary is called what?
6. What did the first president do that many considered treasonous?

--------------------
Answers below



1. 10 years
2. 4 (Although Sam Houston served two non-consecutive terms)
3. Houston
4. Baylor
5. Terquasquicentennial
6. After the Battle of San Jacinto, he (David G. Burnet)  negotiated a treaty allowing Santa Anna to return safely to Mexico in exchange for all Mexican troops withdrawing below the Rio Grande.

And the pussification of America continues...

Teacher rattles table to get his classroom's attention.  Student calls the police.  Teacher put on leave...

DANCE ASSASSIN + Urban Ninja 3 Preview

I want to be a dance assassin when I grow up!

Free fries at Chi-fil-A...Mark your calenders for FryDay March 4...

Free medium waffle fries courtesy of Heinz ketchup and Chic-fil-A this FryDay...