Question: Is this story bullshit?

I'd kind of like to read some of your comments on is one.  They are saying this chick was dead at the bottom of this pool for three days with nobody noticing her!?!  People just swimming and splashing and having a good ol' time with a dead chick at the bottom of the pool!  I've seen some cloudy pools but damn...I think I would be able to make out the silhouette of a dead person at the bottom.  And what about the 9 year old kid?  How did he get home?  Why didn't he say anything to anyone?  Very confusing, but this is a legit site that I got this from not like most of my bullshit...

Chris Hansen caught cheating on his wife. How was he caught? Hidden camera...Bahahaha!!!

Helluva way to get caught!  He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword, right?  Just seems like Karma caught up with this dude.  I aint hatin'...just think its funny...

Best. Excuse. Ever.

What do you do when you're the coach of the North Korean soccer team and lose to the USA?  You come up with an iron clad excuse!  "Why did you lose?"  "Because my team was struck by lightning."  Well only 5 of them, but still...This is how you keep Kim Jong-Il from putting your face on a Wanted-Dead or Alive poster.  Because I gaurandamntee you, this guy was fixing to face a firing squad when he got back to North Korea...

What should you do when the TSA wants to check your adult diapers? Depends...

Hey Lena Reppert, rule number one at the airport is, if you're going to have "something hard" in your pants it better be a dick or your getting your Depends searched.  Thats just common sense, so don't come bitching to me about an extra 45 minute search.  C'mon lady..be a professional for once...

This chick donates breast milk...gets arrested...

What's going on in the world today when a woman isn't allowed to whip out a boob and donate it to the local police?  How does boob milk work anyway?  I always assumed it trickled out but now I'm thinking that must be under some high pressure.  I had no idea chicks could "spray" that stuff.  Just whoop it out, point and shoot.  That ought to be an olympic event.  And Stephanie Robinette is on track to win the Gold.  USA!!  USA!!

Want to say howdy to Tom Anderson of Myspace? Go to his Facebook page...

Apparently Myspace is shutting down June 30th.  Just when I was about to break the 10 friend barrier...damn...

Does this look like a chick that married a guy that's been dead for almost two years???

Karen Jumeaux, you diabolical bitch!  Poor Anthony Maillot found the ultimate way to get out of marrying you and you just fucked up his eternity.  Dude was probably up in Heaven macking American chicks who are just loving his french accent.  Bumping uglies on cloud nine.  Now he's just watching from the bleachers because of your selfish ass, Karen.  If he wanted to marry you for real, he would've been at the altar long before Jr. was born.  I hope this isn't a law here in the good ol' US of A!  And if it is I'm sure the man in the Oval Office has got more sense than President Sarkozy.  I know Bill Clinton would not have stood this debauchery...

OJ finally admits to killing Nicole in self defense...Wait! What?

So OJ is finally telling us what we already know.  Of course he is putting a little twist on it.  Killing his 98 lb ex out of fear for his own life.  He really needs to think this confession out a little more. He can't be re-tried for the murder.  So there's no fear of more prison time.  It stands to reason, the only reason to confess now is to get some street cred on Cellblock C's yard.  Well OJ you dumbass, you gots to come up with a better story if you wants some street cred!  You need to tell how Nicole and Ron along with a pack of Brentwood's baddest Motorcycle gang members attacked you.  How the motorcycle gang got away after you slashed up Nicole and Ron.  That's just some bullshit I came up with off the top of my head.  You've had plenty of time to concoct your bullshit.  Come on OJ, be a professional double murder confessioner for once...

Does this look like a guy who rented a whore for four days at $1000 bucks a day, then beat her with a baseball bat, then choked her to unconsciousness, then fucked her lifeless body, then watched her wake up and run to safety, then be found NOT GUILTY because he was sleepwalking???

Only in Canada!!!  I'm relatively certain this excuse wouldn't work in our justice system.  Might be worth a shot though.  Why don't one of you Useless Timewasters give it a try.  Start small though.  No sense in going "all in" on this experiment.  Maybe start off by letting your spouse walk in on you while your doing the "Cleveland Steamer" or the "Crippled crab with the modified boot" with the babysitter, poolboy, whomever.  Just keep driving on, acting like the spouse isn't even there.  Maintain a trancelike state when making eye contact.  If it works, then go ahead and rob a bank or something and let me know how that works out for you...

Couple arrested for having sex on the beach...not the drink...

Erica Huerta, you sexy vixen! You had me at “did intentionally masturbate,” exposed her genitals, engaged in oral sex, and was digitally penetrated.  Digitally penetrated?  What the Hell is that?  Not sure, but I think I'm in!  You just gotta love her mug shot!  Obviously, still enjoying that freshly fucked feeling.  And there's poor Steven Perry...luckiest unlucky sonofabitch on the beach if you ask me.  After reading... "In fact, investigators noted, Huerta was fondled by Perry “for more than 30 minutes.” Perry, the affidavits note, “attempted to having sex with Huerta several times,” doing this in the “missionary position.” Additionally, “Perry then put a shirt over his head and began to give Huerta oral sex.” you gotta believe there were some "technical difficulties" going on there.  So here this guy is getting arrested for having sex on the beach, yet couldn't get it up and had to post a $10,000 bond.  Sucks to be you...or does it???

Does this look like the 16 year old chick who married the 51 year old asshole guard from "The Green Mile" who didn't wet the sponge and fried the convicts head???

For about a split second I was going to jump on the "He's a pedophile" bandwagon and then common sense took over.  Don't hate the playa, hate the game!  Right?  This chick is 16 going on 25!  Don't tell me you guys didn't linger a few extra seconds checking her pics before reading this.  Anyways, what happens when the justice system declares a 16 year old an adult and sends him to adult prison for his crimes.  I'll tell ya what happens...he gets treated like every other adult in there, by the inmates and the guards.  Same concept here folks.  Her parents declared her adult enough to marry, so don't hate this guy for the honeymoon banging she's getting right now.  On another note, why is she gold digging this old dude?  He aint that rich is he?  Got the connections she needs to launch her singing career?  Certainly she could've beat out Selena Gomez for "The Biebs" affections...

How to die...

Now this is a lesson in how to die.  Not only did he go out a hero but he willed $165,000 to 32 friends to fly over the pond and party in Las Vegas to celebrate his death.  Best. Friend. Ever.  If my math is correct and they split it evenly, they all come away spending a little over $5100 (minus air fare and hotel).  If I gave away $165,000, my friends would have a bigger prostitute/alcohol/gambling budget.  After all, I've only got about two friends.  God Bless you Royal Marine David Hart...  

AAACK!!! Get it off me!!!

Story and more tumor pics here...

Guy forces a dude to blow him, then fuck him, then blow him again, then shooots the dude in the leg...twice...

Police have got to start securing the gay community a little bit better.  When I was a 19 year old and some guy forced another guy to blow him, fuck him and blow him "to completion" you didn't shoot the dude in the leg once, much less twice!  Just total disrespect!  A simple thank-you goes a long way.  For shame Anton Malone...for shame...

Heckler at Anthony Weiner's press conference...

This is pure gold! From "bye-bye pervert" to " Are you more than seven inches?" to "Senator Weiner, were you fully erect?" This heckler could not be stopped. Just heckling the hell out of this weiner...fun times had by all...

A "How To" guide to wart removal...

When you have a wart and can't afford to go to the dermatologist, follow this guys lead.  Get out your .12 Gauge shotgun.  Aim at wart.  Fire.  No need to look for finger...  Story here...

How to sell a wiener...

Best. Rioter. Ever.

Now, I have never understood the concept of rioting after a championship game in any sport.  I've seen 'em riot for losing.  I've seen 'em riot for winning.  But one thing is for sure, this couple has got the "losing" type of rioting down to an art.  If Vancouver plays for Lord Stanley's Cup again next year, I'm there and hoping they lose again!  I gots to gets my riot game on if this is how its done!!!

Instant Kharma...

Useless piece of garbage starts to rape a 77 year old woman.  Then rolls over and dies.  Gives new meaning to "Happy Ending"....

A sweet little bedtime story as narrated by Samuel L. Jackson...

Hitler Finds Out Lebron James, The Miami Heat Choked In The 2011 NBA Finals...

Ex-wife sets up fake Facebook account to trap ex-husband...gets outsmarted...

Move over Albert Einstein.  There's a new genius in town and his name is David Voelkert.  This guy came up with a perfect plan.  Evil genius!  Think about it.  If it is really his wife, he has an affidavit covering his ass to get him out of jail.  "I have a notarized sheet of paper saying I had no intention of harming her."  If some high school nut job busts a cap in her ass, he's got an affidavit covering his ass to get him out of jail.  "I have a notarized sheet of paper saying I had no intention of harming her."  Win and Win!  Today, you lose Angela "Jessica Studebaker" Voelkert.  Sometimes your pigeon, sometimes your the statue and I'm thinking there's a statue of Angela in South Bend that has been shat upon...

Typical blonde moment...

Typical blonde moment...

STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS LADIES!!!!

You don't have to wait for August 21st as far as I'm concerned.  Free those sweater puppies!!!

Her Vagina Aint Handicapped

Yesterday I thought I brought you THE summer jam with "I Got Pregnannnnt". I may have been mistaken. This chick definately got swag and her vagina aint handicapped! This has summer jam written all over it!!!

Guy plays Russian Roulette with dog and himself. Who ya got?

Dog - 1.... Dumbass moonshine drinkin' hill rat - 0.  This is what we call justice.  You want to be a dumbass and play russian roulette?  Fine, but don't bring Fido into it!  I'm thinking that his wife must've known which chamber the round was in.  Obviously she knew how many times he pulled the trigger at the dog.  She probably encouraged him to use that last shot on himself.  Now she and Fido get all the moonshine and none of the dumbass...

One armed bandit wanted for single handedly robbing bank...

A well armed man walks into a bank and demands cash...actually this guy wasn't armed...literally or figuratively.  Just walks in asks for the cash.  And gets it!  I think you better leave this sinister bastard alone.  No telling how a guy with balls that huge lost his arm!  I for one don't want any of his one-armed wrath.  Sometimes the cat wins.  Sometimes the rat wins.  Let this rat have his cheese...

Blah blah blah blah slow motion Carlton Draught ad

Not hilarious, yet still pretty amusing...

I got pregnannnnt! Whaaa?

When you're listening to this on the radio all summer long, just remember who brought it to you first. That's right, I am your trusted servant. Ensuring that you all stay up-to-date on pop culture. Listen and enjoy...and don't forget to name your next son, Cilantro...

This Villanova MBA Grad really needs a date with a "cat person"...

Thank God I'm not in the dating game! This is what's out there in the world of on-line dating? She is, no doubt, going to be the "crazy cat lady" at the end of the block you always hear about. It's inevitable. Good luck Debbie...

Woman tattoos 152 Facebook friends on her arm...

Now this is what is what I call dedication.  Dedicated to being a dumbass, but still, dedication nonetheless.  With that being said, maybe I shouldn't cast stones.  Afterall I don't have any tattoos and I'm relatively sure that about 90% of my Facebook friends have my profile pic tattooed on themselves somewhere.  That's why I don't change the profile pic very often.  Just pissin' people off.  Always having to go have the tat updated.  I just don't need to upset my Facebook friends like that. They would probably want me to help pay for the updates and we all know bloggers rate right up there on the pay scale with that smelly, fake cast wearing, cardboard sign holding bum at the busy intersections... 

The Alamo Drafthouse makes a PSA out of a voicemail of an unsatisfied "customer"...

This just makes me wish even more that we had an Alamo Drafthouse here in San Angelo! God bless you Alamo Drafthouse...

Drunk driver ADMITS to crashing his car into an apartment building. Police can't arrest him because there were no witnesses...Wait...What???

Now that's some justice system they have up there in Seattle!  Tell the cops your drunk and just crashed your car into an aprtment building?  As long as there ain't no witnesses, no prob!  Go home.  Sleep it off!  I wonder how high up on the crime scale that rule goes? Tell the cops you just knocked over a convenience store so you could have some beer money for the weekend?  What?  No witnesses?  Just move along folks.  Nothing to see here.  Not sure I would confess to a murder or kidnapping though.  They might have a mandatory 24 hour hold before they had to let you go...

Note: there's some awesome drunk video confession on the link...

"Head"stone falls on woman's leg while engaged in "extracurricular activities" in cemetery...

Wow!  Where to begin?  Now that's what I call having fun in the "BONEyard".  It's all fun and games until you have to "ERECT" a new headstone.   Ok, I used "HEAD"stone in the title.  Good thing the cemetery isn't pressing charges...There could have been some "STIFF" penalties.

Russian buries himself alive with predictable results...

Now y'all know I'm not one to poke fun at death.  Just don't need that kind of Karma!  But these crazy freaking russians just never cease to amaze me.  For a little good luck I've tried rabbits feet, wishbones and shit like that, but I've never heard of these wild and wacky russian techniques.  Just bury yourself alive overnight!  Yeah, I would say if I survived that I would be the luckiest sonofabitch alive!  If he had only known the rest of his life was going to be overnight, maybe he would've just tried rubbing his lucky rabbits foot from the warmth of his bed, watching some late night cinemax...

A lesson in "How to get your money's worth"...

Denny's had a 24 hour All-You-Can-Eat Pancake promotion.  7 teenagers went in and ate pancakes for the entire 24 hours.  They ate 301 pancakes, 43 per person, averaging over 14,000 calories and all for 5 bucks each!  Yikes!!!  I think I just gained five pounds blogging about it...

Crazy Glue Fun!!!

Riddle me this Useless Timewasters...
Q: What happens when you crazy glue someone's electronic gadgets into sockets?
A: You get "stuck" in jail...

Story here.