Guy beats himself up, tells wife he was mugged of Oprah tickets so she wouldn't know that he never had them...felony charges pending...

How sad is this story?  This dud dude is so scared of his wife that he mugs himself and tells her that some thugs got away with their Oprah tickets.  I wish they would have showed a picture of her too in this article.  I'm picturing a female Russian Olympic weight lifter.  What a pathetic life this poor bastard must live.  I'm filing a motion to revoke his Man Card...All in favor?

p.s. after reading this, I couldn't help but think of Jim Carrey beating the hell out of himself in the courthouse bathroom...

http://youtu.be/OAqBitV574c