Classics...

1. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
2. Dyslexic man walks into a bra
3. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
4. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
5. There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
6. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
7. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
8. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
9. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
10. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
11. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."